Paper Mache People

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Do you see what your lack of commenting has done? That's right. It made me make a gun out of question marks.

"Someday you might make some young lady very happy" my brother said. "Ya" I say, "Someday you could make a young lady very happy too." My brother's girlfriend gives me a dirty look.

It is my unique penchant for insulting everyone around me that makes me one of the worst people to have around in polite situations. In the above situation I was stuck in the car with the two of them for the next ten minutes.
One time, while at an important dinner party, I commented on the nice tie the man sitting next to me at the dinner table. At least, I thought it was nice. It's not my fault that I didn't notice that the colors were clashing, it was tied wrong, and someone had spilled red wine on it. Unfortunately for me, the man was aware of all of the reasons that his tie was not in the least bit, "nice." I wondered why he didn't seem talkative.

I went to a wedding of people I didn't know and didn't care about. Mistake #1. I had the facial equivalent of Niagara Falls spraying out of my nose. Mistake # 2. I didn't know the names of the bride, groom, or anyone else at the party. Mistake # 3. During the ceremony my sniffling and tears far outshined the mothers and fathers of the couple being married. Like a child baking mud cookies, the only thoughts going through my head were "this is not going to end nearly as well as anticipated" and "I can't believe people actually do this."

Sorry for jumping around a lot. I hope my little anecdotes were fun.

These things were enjoyed by me. (Passive voice)

RADIO LAB

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIwETgalWTQ

Comment or forever be eaten! er... never mind.